Cherishing Our Individual Roles in the Eternal Plan

How blessed I am to have come from a loving mother and a loving father!  I learned to be strong from my mother.  She also taught me loyalty, self-preservation, and to hold my head high.  Dad taught me how to feel the Spirit.  He taught me honesty, integrity, and how to set and reach goals.  There are many other things my parents taught me.  I was extremely blessed to have two parents who loved each other and loved me.  If I had been raised by one or the other of them, it still would have been a good life, and I would still be a good person; but oh how blessed I am to have had them both.  My parents loved each other and were loyal to each other.

It is difficult for me to see myself being raised in a non-traditional family.  There is so much I would have missed.  I would have struggled to learn the lessons that my parents taught me.  Each parent brought something unique to the table.  My father could not have shown me how to be a strong woman; that takes a strong woman.  My mother could not have taught me about goal setting like my salesman father.  From one of them, I learned to be tough; from the other to be compassionate.  The World War II veteran showed me who God is; the woman who waited for him to return showed me that when life gets tough, the tough get going.  Dad showed me how a man should treat a woman; Mom showed me how a woman should expect to be treated by a man.

These qualities came from a Heavenly Father who created us in His own image.  He created us male and female with unique qualities for a heavenly purpose.  Children need a balance of the qualities inherent in the male and the female.  He created us different, but equal.  It is His divine purpose that we carry these traits with us as a family unit after we leave this earth.  We are beloved spirit children of heavenly parents who want us to return as families.  We are entitled by birthright to a father and a mother for our eternal family.  How happy we will be if we allow His divine plan to work in our lives!

This is the first time in over a year that I have written anything under my real signature instead of my pen name.  It is important for me to stand and bear testimony in my own name that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and that it is gender specific.  He created the male and the female for different purposes—both equally beautiful.  We should cherish our individual roles in the eternal plan.  It gives me joy to know my purpose as a woman.  It makes me happy to know that if I live righteously, I will stand beside my husband as his partner forever—not four steps behind, nor four steps ahead; but next to him.

I testify that The Family: A Proclamation to the World is an inspired document.  It is scripture from the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  The last couple of years it has saddened me that some have criticized the our leader's stand on some things.  They have believed what the world is teaching; not what the prophet is teaching.  

A few days ago, my youngest daughter came home from a fireside with a quote from a man by the name of Jason Nartker.  Brother Nartker said, “If you disagree with what the prophet says, change your opinion.”  I’m sure there was a brother or sister somewhere in Noah’s time saying the same thing.  We know how the people of Noah used their agency.  How will we use ours?

Thank you, Laurie.

I adore Laurie, and have enjoyed getting to know her over these last few years, online. I was finally able to meet her, last year, when I was in Salt Lake City, covering General Conference - a highlight! I love her passion for the gospel, her family, and her willingness to honestly share how her life has been blessed through her active membership in the LDS Church.

Head on over to Chocolate on My Cranium or Mormon Mommy Blogs to find out what they're sharing during our Family Proclamation Celebration!


Kathryn Skaggs

Laurie White is a mother of four and grandmother of ten in Sacramento, California. She currently blogs as Tudie Rose at, and can also be found at LaurieBee’s Family Hive at She has written articles for Meridian Magazine and Familius. You will find a Tudie Rose essay in Lessons from My Parents, Michele Robbins, Familius 2013, at Laurie White also has an essay in Notes on the Kitchen Table, Bob Greene and D. G. Fulford, Doubleday 1998,

Personal Photos: Laurie White

Meme Photo Credit:


  1. Laurie, this is a fantastic post with wonderful insight that aligns right with The Family: A Proclamation to the World. The divine and distinct roles of both a mother and a father in the home raising children together are intuitive and beautiful:)

    1. Thanks, Angela. It was a pleasure to write about the Proclamation, and I was honored that Kathryn asked me to do it.

  2. So well said, in your own name! Thank-you

  3. There are a few Mormon beliefs that I don't understand and this is one of them. I'm not trying to start any arguments or persuade anyone. I genuinely have these questions and want to understand your beliefs more.

    There are been many studies that show that homosexuality is most commonly something that happens within the womb. It is a trait they are born with, outside of their control. In religious terms, God made them that way. It is something deeply ingrained in their brain and their instinctual behavior. They are then asked "By God" to fight against that? So why did he make them that way?

    It's just something they are born with. We don't ask people that are born as albinos to pretend that they aren't born that way. We don't ask them to dye their hair and wear colored contacts. They are just born that way, and that's okay. We are learning more and more that Gender isn't a clear-cut definition. Hermaphrodites are another example of where the line is blurred. Someone that is born with both physical gender traits. Sometimes they are slightly more female and sometime more male. Sometime they are equally both. If you think you need to "cherish our individual gender roles to fulfill His eternal plan" then what do you think about hermaphrodites? If He finds gender to be so sacred why did he create them?

    Homosexuality isn't visible on the outside but research has shown that their brains, and sometimes hormone levels, are more like that of someone or their opposite gender. In a way, they are more similar to a hermaphrodite in that they are born with some traits of both genders. They are not evil or immoral people, they are just different. Asking a homosexual woman to force herself to try and love a man would be just as difficult as asking a heterosexual woman to love another woman. The heterosexual woman would likely never really be able to do it. It would be weird, gross, against her instincts and unnatural to her. That is what you are asking of homosexual people.

    Another thing I am confused about is your main point. "If you disagree with that the prophet says, change your opinion." Are you really expected to blindly follow what your leaders say without any opinion of your own or a need for it to make sense? I understand a need for organization and leadership but it shouldn't be unconditional following. I'm going to make a crude analogy and I know your religion isn't like a cult but quite frankly: unconditional following of a leader is how cults work! Are you saying that even if something doesn't make sense, you should follow your leaders guidance on the matter?

    I know some of these questions might be difficult or harsh but I am curious about your religion and I have had these questions for a while and I would appreciate any help on them that you could give. I would prefer more than the blanket statement of "We aren't meant to know God's will," or "God works in mysterious ways," or "Just because the scriptures say." I would prefer more than "Pray about it and see if you get good feelings." I prefer logic. Human emotion is far to subjective for me to just rely on it. After all, chocolate and good music give me good feelings. There are millions of people in thousands of other religions that would claim the same feelings about their beliefs too. If I am going to base everything I do in my entire life on a belief system, it had better in the very least make sense. Thank you for any input you can help me with.

    1. You raise some very good questions, Jenni, and I'll try to answer them the best way I know how -- which may or may not give you satisfactory answers -- but I'll try.

      I'll try the easier question first. I believe the prophet to be called of God. I believe that he would never lead us astray from what God wants us to do. What makes that different from a cult is that we are taught we are entitled to confirmation from the Holy Ghost of what the prophet tells us to do. We don't blindly follow the prophet; we hear what he has to say, pray about it, and ask for confirmation from the Spirit if what he says is true. The problem is that some people argue and bicker without ever doing the hard thing, getting on their knees, and praying for that confirmation. We need to be willing to do the hard things. Now, if someone were to say to me, "I've prayed about this, and I don't think it's right," then I couldn't argue the point. However, people who I've come in contact with over this issue have their own set opinions and don't feel it necessary to pray for that confirmation.

      Now for the harder question. I don't profess to understand everything about homosexuality or hermaphrodites. I'm not a genetic scientist, nor a physician. What I believe is that Heavenly Father has given every one on this earth challenges. I believe that each of us has the particular challenges which will help us to learn the particular lessons or principles which Heavenly Father wants us to learn. Some are born to poverty, some with physical disabilities, some with mental challenges, and yes, some with gender challenges. With every challenge, we have choices. It's how we act on those challenges that determines what we learn in this life. For instance, He asks us all to live the law of chastity. If a woman is never given the opportunity to marry in this life, He still asks her to live the law of chastity. That's a hard thing. It's the same with someone who is gender challenged. He asks them not to act on those urges that go against His commandments. Is this easy? Absolutely not. Everyone on this earth has challenges to overcome. It's precisely those challenges that make us better people. I'll take that even one step further and say that there are gay people who I know (some I'm related to) who are better people than I am for having faced this particular challenge.

      Since I'm not an authority on this topic, I would refer you to which is the Church website set up to answer questions on the topic of homosexuality. I'm sure you'll get much better answers there than I can give you.

      I hope that helps.

  4. I think I can say that I feel just like you. I was raised by good parents who truly showed what true love was and taught me many sweet lessons. Thanks for your thoughts today on family.

    1. Glad you enjoyed the post, but even happier to hear you can relate. :)