Abstinence from Sex - It's a Choice

I get so frustrated when supposedly responsible adults continue to send the message to teenagers that sexual abstinence is impossible -- even harmful to their emotional well-being!  And too many young people fall for this lie because the challenge to remain sexually pure before marriage is difficult.  But the bottom line is, that you DO have a choice.  The choice to remain sexually pure and abstain from sex before marriage is one that can not only be made, but also kept.

The Mormon Church teaches sexual abstinence before marriage, without apology.  Many outside of our faith believe that advocating for such behavior is a waste of time -- as teenagers are inevitably going to have sex.   After all they posit,  it's the nature of the beast!  Thankfully, many other faiths also teach the importance of sexual purity -- and standing together into the future, on this issue, is going to be more important than ever.

LDS Church News reports:

"For many individuals outside of the Church, sexual involvement in the early stages of dating is seen as an important part of testing relationship compatibility and becomes a key factor in determining if a relationship can progress. 
A new BYU study, published in the American Psychological Association's Journal of Family Psychology, shows that those ideas are not supported by research — and that includes people of all ages, races and religious backgrounds. 
"So many people think that sexual compatibility must be one of the first things figured out," said Dean Busby, BYU professor and lead author on the study. "However, we didn't find any benefit to early sexual involvement." 
In fact, researchers came to find that sexual timing in relationships has a large effect on the quality of relationships and overall satisfaction. They concluded that individuals who waited until marriage to have sex experienced more satisfaction, stability and better communication in relationships.
For members of the Church, the concept of waiting to have sex until marriage isn't new — the commandment is an eternal principle encouraged from a young age and emphasized in the youth programs of the Church and the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet."
You can read more HERE.

Mormon Messages for Youth latest video I Choose to Be Pure lends a combined voice, from youth of many faiths, on the importance of choosing sexual purity and the fact that it is a choice!  I think that one of Satan's greatest tools is the ability to convince people, particularly our youth, that they are powerless to the natural inclinations of mortality.

The LDS Newsroom had this to say about the video:
"Like people in many other faiths, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon) believe in abstinence from sex before marriage and complete fidelity and loyalty to one’s spouse after marriage. In this vein, the Church recently released an interfaith Mormon Message about the challenge youth face to stay sexually pure.
This video features a Buddhist, a Catholic, a Lutheran, a Muslim, a nondenominational Christian and a Mormon, each of whom speaks candidly about why he or she chooses to not engage in sexual relations before marriage."

I Choose to Be Pure

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  1. Is it actually hard to abstain? I don't think it's difficult...it's just so darn easy to have sex...if you choose to.

  2. @Jocelyn Christensen -

    I suppose that is one way of looking at it... It sounds like you are likely one that has had no problems in this area -- but for most young people, it is a challenge. I'd be interested to hear more of your thoughts.

    The Church also released a video just recently about setting limits for yourself when it comes to relationships, so that you never find yourself in a position to even have to make the choice of whether you will have sex or not. I think that's really great advice.

    So yes, it really does come down to making the right choices one step at a time -- and by making the right choices early on, the choice to abstain from sex can be considered an easy one.

  3. I wasn't brought up in the church but did have a "Christian" upbringing. Unfortunately we were not informed other than by other youth. I almost made serious errors twice. But I did have sexual distortions.

    I have to say now, however, that I have come to understand that lust is no good. My wife passed away in 2000 and I have had no sex since. And it is no problem to me at all. My heart and mind are just not centered that way since I came to study lust and see the problems with our perception.

  4. @Doug Towers -

    I truly believe that our youth need to be given strong direction when it comes to making the choice to be sexually pure. Not only should we as parents/adults be teaching the principles behind this direction, but firmly planting in their hearts those righteous desires that will help them to make the choice.

    You bring up a very important point. There is a huge difference between "lust" and the kind of love that a mature marriage union produces, for sexual intimacy to be considered righteous and emotionally healthy.

    And you're right, there is nothing positive when our actions are based in lust. It is the epitome of selfishness.

  5. Yes it's hard, but it is possible, and very much worth it. I think as a teenager you have your raging hormones that confuse you about sex. It seems like there are a lot of teenagers who want sex to feel loved, to feel pleasure, or who have it just because they think the other person will want to stay with them because they did that together. Sex is more than just enjoying something physically with someone else; it's a deep emotional connection, becoming one with the person that you love. I honestly do not believe that teenagers can understand that. I feel that you truely understand that connection when you are married and committed to that person forever.


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